How to tell your friends or family you have RA Having a rheumatic condition can be difficult as it affects many aspects of your life, including your friendships. Although it can be nerve-wracking to tell other people about your condition, it can also be really beneficial as your friends may be able to understand your struggles and support you better. So if you’ve decided to take the plunge and tell your nearest and dearest, here are some tips to help. 1) Set the Scene Wait for the right time. You don’t want to blurt it out as you part ways at a bus stop or whisper it whilst you’re with other people. Choose a quiet place where you can be alone with your friend(s) and have a proper discussion. This also highlights to your friends that this is an important conversation for you. 2) Tell them your symptoms/diagnosis Not everyone will have a diagnosis, and this shouldn’t stop you sharing your experience with your friends. However, people can be affected differently by the same condition so sharing how you are impacted can help your loved ones understand what you are going through! 3) Use resources to help Sometimes it can be tricky to find the words to say how we are feeling or it can be tricky or tiring to explain it all. Using resources from charities and info graphics can make that a little easier for you! 4) Tell them what helps and what doesn’t Sharing your triggers and your comforts when flaring can be useful information for your friends. They often want to help us but don’t know how, so by sharing that with them, it means they can support you better and know what works and what doesn’t! If you have a few suggestions of how they can help you, feel free to share them with your friend(s). 5) Don’t feel obliged to share Just because you’ve known someone a long time, doesn’t mean you’re obliged to tell them about your condition. No-one is entitled to your medical history and the choice is all yours! 6) Take it slowly This is a big conversation and it can feel quite daunting. There’s no reason why you can’t have several smaller conversations instead of one big one. It might make it a bit easier for you to explain and answer any questions your friend may have! Take things at a pace you feel comfortable with. These are just a few tips to help you tell your friends but ultimately, you know best what to share! Questions People with RA Often Ask “I want to tell my friends I’ve been diagnosed with RA, but I’m scared they won’t really get it. How do I even start that conversation without making it awkward?” It helps to choose a calm moment where you’re not rushed and can talk properly, because the setting does half the work for you. You don’t need to make a big speech. Just explain what RA is for you, what symptoms you deal with and why you wanted them to know. Most people don’t understand RA until someone they care about explains it to them. Giving them that context usually makes the conversation feel more natural than you expect. “I never know how to explain what my bad days feel like. Should I use resources or examples instead of trying to describe everything myself?” Absolutely. Using charity resources, infographics, or simple explanations takes the pressure off you and helps people understand without you having to relive every detail. RA affects everyone differently, so showing them something visual or well explained can make it easier for them to grasp what you’re dealing with. It’s not ‘cheating’, it’s communicating in a way that protects your energy. “I feel guilty for not telling certain friends about my RA, but I also don’t feel ready. Is it normal to take it slow or only tell a few people?” It’s completely normal. You’re not obligated to share your medical history with anyone, even people you’ve known for years. You can tell one person, a few people, or no one at all — whatever feels right. And if you do want to open up eventually, you can do it in small conversations over time instead of one big emotional reveal. You get to set the pace, and the people who care about you will follow your lead.” Did this blog help you open up to your loved ones? Be sure to share the love with Suruthi on Instagram and follow her for more tips and advice. To stay up to date with our blog and everything RA, remember to follow NRAS on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. If you’re new to RA and are worried about going to a consultation, please watch our new livestream with Tracy French, where she outlines what to expect and how to approach your early RA journey.