Tired, in pain and having to fight every step of the way – Michelle’s journey

Written by Michelle

A couple of years ago I quit my job in sales, to pursue a more active life. I was working temporarily at a youth hostel in the Lake District over winter, hiking and wild swimming in my free time. But I woke up one morning with some kind of muscle spasm in my hand, which was really frightening because I couldn’t use it.

Looking back, I’d already had warning signs – a single joint issue in one finger, dropping things, feeling fatigue – which I’d ignored. But soon I was getting more issues with my wrists and hands. I went home as planned in spring, intending to head to Scotland to explore over the summer for 6 months. But I became really ill. I was constantly tired, and I couldn’t cook, clean or dress myself properly. My neck became excruciating.

I became really ill. I was constantly tired, and I couldn’t cook, clean or dress myself properly. My neck became excruciating.

I was in so much pain and waiting for a diagnosis seemed to take forever. NHS services are stretched so thin, and it felt like I was having to fight every step when I was so unwell. Navigating the system – not knowing when I should speak to the consultant, or my GP, or the Nurse Helpline – meant I had so many unanswered questions. That’s why I sought help from NRAS. On that first Helpline call with Kate, it felt like she had all the time in the world to answer my questions.

On that first Helpline call with Kate, it felt like she had all the time in the world to answer my questions.

I’d been looking at online forums for advice about working. Lots of people were saying ‘you either have to quit or go part time’. But that wasn’t an option for me – I have a mortgage and I’m on my own. And it’s not just about money. I need the focus of a job for my mental health. 

But Kate told me about her experience and how she managed to keep active and able to work. She also sent me a follow-up email with loads of resources. I’ve been reading those along with the information on the NRAS website, so I know more about medications and next steps now. It’s given me a picture of a more positive future.

Luckily, I’ve been able to get my old job back, and my employers have been really accommodating. But I am worried about the future. I’m still in pain 24/7, and haven’t found the right medication yet. There hasn’t been a week without one or more medical appointments. But with Kate’s support and reading NRAS resources, I’m getting better at being patient. 

I also have the reassurance that I can call any time, and I’ll get kindness, practical information and actions to take. And most important, I know that someone is there to listen.

I still walk every day, but I’m learning to recognise my limits. NRAS are helping me to steer that in a realistic way.

The NRAS Helpline, like all our services, depends on donations and fundraising. Will you help us be there when someone like Michelle needs to talk?

Feeling inspired to share your story and get in touch with us? Email fundraising@nras.org.uk or alternatively message us on social media via Facebook, X and Instagram.